I am sooo humbled. Sooooo humbled. Since Donna went home early to the heavens, being a single dad has been a challenge. But, i gotta tell you this. After shooting 75 vivographic videos during Lent on stopping planned parenthood from killing kids and maiming moms, i am soooo humbled.
So many of them included single moms who have children and/or aborted; too many are battling, in silence and secret, the causatives of post-abortion trauma. Including inability to maintain relationships with males, to be two parents, doubling as a mom AND dad.
The struggles of single moms is got to be one of the most challenging in this post-Christian America we live in. We need to help in every way we can. My kids are all grown but a couple stragglers and they generously help each other; sure, there are challenges, but not compared to what a single mom and her child(ren) faces each day, before sunup to well past sundown. Everyone knows a single mom.
Some of the single moms i know include a mom of two preteens who lost a child to an abortogod a few years ago. A mom of a twenty something who has had three abortions. A beautiful talented mom with a five year old that works soooo hard to give her child the best of all worlds, and to be the best woman of God possible. A widowed mom of two amazing late teens who is in love but the “he” in him fears the “C” word as if it is cancer. I know ‘cancer’ precedes “commitment’ in the e-Dictionary, but both precede “courage” and “coward”: choose one or the other. Are you a man of valor or a wimp? Are you ready to be a part of a lady in waiting’s or exile yourself to a beer and the flat screen?
What’s with us guys? Don’t you see what beautiful women God has designed, created and delivered? Chivalry works, it is essential and it takes boys and makes ’em men. The kind of men this world desperately needs!! Three things: ‘A work to perform’, ‘challenges to champion’ and ‘a woman to love’.
Knights don’t need chain mail to qualify; just a little focused training. And Christian guys, you are much better than this: sure, Carl’s Jr. admen think men are just animals; that 18-35 hypertestosteroned demographic males will use every piece of fresh meat they comes across, but news at 11! I believe you are better than this weak marketing mentality and strong misunderstanding that Godly men ARE OUT THERE!
And…It ain’t so! Women are God’s most precious and complex creations, well designed to be a person, a being not a thing, a human essential to life and good relationships, NOT a usable OBJECT d’ ART like Nina Agdal, Miley Cyrus or Heidi Klum. A priceless human being, NOT AN OBJECT, but like your sisters and mothers, to be treated with due respect. Pope St. John Paul the Great knows the score: “Christ’ assigns to every man the (protection of the) dignity of every women”.
Just like this photo taken by a Swiss guard in St. Peter’s when JPtheGreat was shot, there are miracle women all around you. No,it isn’t photoshopped. Open your eyes, think with your brains…and hearts. Guys, help me out here. The male kind of guys: what is it about “commitment” you fear? Is it there is sooo much ‘babe bling’ available via “friends with benefits” and Carl’s Jr. commercials that you think “why commit to the kitchen since you already have access to the whole buffet?” If you are so enamored with the plumbing, get licensed and work the copper, water heaters etc. Otherwise, hands off!
These precious ladies in waiting belong to God, not you. Two words will get you the best woman in the world: “I do”. After suitable courtship. And you Christian guys, why do you keep pushing the envelope? Things like “honey, God has put us together and someday we will be married so it is okay for us to be intimate…”
Come on, the lady is trusting you to treat her right not do a full body MRI with your eyes or paw her over. Ever try the “above the neckline” approach: look her in the eyes and TALK to her, communicate. Grunts and mono syllabic hmms don’t count. What you will find out is the woman of your dreams is full of great surprises. Right in front of you. Or, at least, visible through the eyes.
While we are at it, ever give a woman, a single mom included and including post-abortive moms whose kids are in heaven, a flower or rose? Texting ILY day in day out isn’t enough unless it follows FAM: forget about me, i love you. It won’t bankrupt you; give up one super macholatte cinnamon trip double at SBucks.
No, i don’t have any floral stock; tho my favorite florist is St. Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face and the Little Flower of Lisieux (or St. Therese). But my belief: “Every woman deserves a flower or rose every day and moms a dozen”. Simple marching orders. Imagine a world where women are seen as specially designed, created and beautiful. Not recyclable and reusable. And florists routinely run out of product, because it is in the hands of ladies.
And BTW, a single mom got that way by one of us males: a guy. Usually, he flakes out, went abusive or died; not her fault. Of course, it takes two to tango, but come on guys, when a baby comes to daylight, her commitment becomes and begins with a ten foot “C”. She can’t just go to the mancave or hang out with the guys over a beer. It IS ok to change diapers and carry the child in a manpack up front and personal.
A smiling ear to ear Ryan comes to mind, toting the child across his chest that Therese bore a few short months ago. The excuse ruse is big: “But i don’t want to raise some other guy’s kid!?”
News for you, stud: you were another man’s kid and look how you turned out. And once married, if you believe what God teaches about the multiplication tables in Genesis, new life will be here soon enough. Raising a big bro or sis won’t kill you; it will make you stronger.
There’s only one mom in history that can’t give credit to Tom, Harry or Michael for starting the process: and Mary is the best role model for mothers today. She was a betrothed but unwed mom when being stoned to death, not putting the kid in high school day care, was in fashion. She gave her all for her Son, too. And she had a great role model for men, St. Joseph, the best foster dad in history.
So, guys, give a flower, preferably a rose to a woman today; a single mom, with one or more blessings to raise, could use kind words as well. They are NOT charity or sympathy projects: they are amazing women who face a world they didn’t create to raise children all in society will benefit from. After all, nanny governance didn’t happen overnight; someday, fatherhood will come back in fashion in the inner cities, but single momhood will not disappear by fiat.
It takes men willing to commit to “beauty with blessings”…not “friends with benefits” to help to revolutionize, chivalize and renaissance this broken world. Mother Theresa was a single mom to millions; she knew what a child, a life, a person was all about. We should do no less. And…
Single moms are people, too! Those little humans are not baggage but blessings. Men, let’s act as if we believed this. We are called to “bear one another’s burdens” as Christians.
Let me paraphrase this: how about “bear one another’s blessings”.
If God would grace me with another woman to love completely, passionately and deeply, i am totally open to a single mom. She would not have to pass an age or IQ test, but have the heart for God, be open to life and love being a mom. In fact, I know Donna is praying for her right now.
A single mom is not a handicapped woman, just equipped with beings that need to be loved as well. Such is LIFE! Because life, pre and postbirth, is not to be limited to age, size and location; it is to be limited to LIVING IT OUT! Carpe diem and it IS a great day to be alive. A rose to all you single moms out there; you are not alone. We need each other. After all, today is just another great day in eternity. ~len
ps. Post-Christian? Well, if we were a Christian nation, Christian men wouldn’t live in porn, abuse women, have to be told to open doors, show respect for and treat women as God’s most precious. It would come naturally. We can get back to there. One man at a time.