Sometimes reality exceeds fantasy in the real world. This satirical look at sex in the fast food industry, for example.
~~~~~~Jack in biz attire sans his excellent disguise
We caught up with one of the most well known and iconic leaders in the fast food industry, Mr. Jack N. Boxer, CEO of Jack in the Box restaurants. Jack was disguised, standing at a bar, test marketing his new Brewhouse Bacon on unsuspecting customers chugging down brews. Very effective disguise, we might add, though all we saw was a large white sphere from our vantage point, away from the bar.
Quick bio: Jack is married to Barbara Knot Boxer, and father of Jack Jr. and Audie D. Boxer. Survived terror blast in 1980; lived to be CEO again with expensive oil-based surgery.
FastFoodTimes: Mr. Boxer, thank you for taking time to meet with us. It’s 72 and partly cloudy outside but then it doesn’t have to be Sunny to sell fast food. You have no idea how much of an iconic presence you are in our industry. Your consistent iconic presence is so appreciated. You survived that terror attack in 1980 and 14 years later you returned.
Jack: Thank you, please call me Jack. It’s not easy having imposing spherical facial features, though flawless. I’m beholden to fracked oil, since it is used in plastic surgery in the 90s did wonders. How can I help you?
FFT: Jack, how do you see the Bacon Wars going? The various marketing methods to bring in sliced pig products by you and your competitors?
Jack: Well, you caught me with my hands on the cooking bar. I’ve been traveling the country with my Brewhouse disguise, hitting the bars to test the tastes of my Bacon offering against the route 66 style food that is the backbone of America. Of course, we don’t serve beer with our great sandwich. Yet. Concerned how my two Boxerettes would be impacted if dad sells the brew with the burgers. But, there is the bottom line.
FFT: How is it going?
Jack: Pretty excellent. Overwhelming. Unfortunately, once i take off my disguise, the customer focuses on me and not the great burger. Have you tasted one yet?
FFT: Yes, Jack. Amazing taste, it should do well. Why the disguise?
Jack: Truth be told, I wanted the customer to actually see the product and not me. Sometimes I can overwhelm with my mere rather large presence, the customer doesn’t even see the bacon. Similar to my colleagues at Carls Hardee; rarely can anyone, especially that certain fave demo of theirs, even see a fresh meat sandwich.
I didn’t want this to be like some of my competitors.
FFT: We see your point? Who are you speaking of?
Jack: Well, my long time friendly nemesis, Ron McD, has become more than his clown persona, but their product has its strong points. And then there is that absolutely beautiful CEO of In N Out Burger…
FFT: You must mean Lynsi Lavelle Snyder-Ellingson. Do you see her as competition?
Jack: Probably not for bacon and I couldn’t touch her on looks; thankfully, she is just an excellent example of God’s design work, making woman the last general creative act being the most complex and precious. I relied on hyper plastic surgery; she is a flawless diamond. Her product line is simple and has a growing following. Seen the lines outside their restaurants? No need to use unseemly means to sell good food. You will never see Lynsi unprofessionally dressed, nor professionally undressed, in an In N Out ad.
One of her company’s draws is the clean marketing image that focuses customers on, imagine this, a tasty food offering and the founder’s commitment to what makes America awesome and its solid Christian values. They even have Scriptures on their cups to remind the customers who miss Sunday Mass, of what they hold important: God, country and their valued customers. And i never felt preached at when i disguised myself as an antenna ball and tried a double double.
Although, having been around for decades, I remember how their labels were altered by that supposedly golden, yet less savory demographic, the 18-35 hormonally charged male.
“In-n-Out Urge” showed no good deed goes unpublished. I never did understand that. Why did customers glorify bulimia: once the burger goes in, who’d want to retaste it on the way out? But, being a bit naive, i finally realized it was similar to other burger companies who use sex to sell…this was never Lynsi’s family intention. With the Hardee Boys, Brad, Andy and Brandon, it’s ALL they know: cheap sex shots for their corporate man cavemen.
FFT: You must mean Hardees / Carl’s Jr.? Aren’t you a fan of their marketing methods? Can’t blame Roark for all the sleaze, since they closed less than three years ago on their major stake.
Jack: Food great. Liked the 3 way. Service, a little wanting today. But, infantile marketing with tilts and asspiring porn models? Actually not really the best thing to do in our devolving world. They are called the Raunchy Roarkettes away from Media City Music Hall.
Notice, my mustache disguise. The focus should be on the product and showing customers how great it is. Burgers are as American as mom, apple pie and blinged, privileged QBs getting off their sorry asses for the flag. And upscaling the product doesn’t mean you need to go down and deeper into the sex sewer. Any first year marketing student can use sex to sell stuff. If Roark was smart and wanted to stay the course, they should fire the Lost Boys and hire a pimply faced freshman at that great biz school CSUFullerton if they must screw women everywhere and every time.
FFT: So, the new 3 way burger. You have concerns?
Jack: The bacon tastes fine but I can’t even have Jack Jr. or Audi D. with me when i go in disguise to taste test at their restaurants; it’s tough enough keeping the ‘stash on with my perfectly slick facial surface. They are sleaze merchants.
I caught these Hardee employees swapping spit in an ad. Where’s the beef in their fantasy land director’s cut? Real women can keep their clothes on and refrain from sharing bodily fluids while working in a USDA store.
When i first heard about the 3 way, i really thought it was to honor the 3 year anniversary when the lost Hardee Boys, no mystery, joined the Roark ‘men only boys club’; their third anniversary of absorption is Christmas Boxer day, Dec 26th, 2016. Not to be!
Cute, my last name, Boxer, forever linked to the Roarkette’s Lost Boys. But, unfortunately, I s oon discovered it was the same stale boy toy sex multiplex with a threesome of imported sluts. Imagine the headline: Roark condones menage a trois lesbian sex in their Southern bible belt restaurant showrooms” Cinnabuns memes on the three whores of Baconland. Stay tuned. FFT, you remember they wouldn’t even run their porn sluts east of the Mississippi, the cowardly wimps, for super bowl?
FFT: What are you talking about? We thought sex was imperative to make fast food bling?!
Jack: Not for real customers of Roark, apparently. They feared people might realize the sleaze was to help the Lost Boys get it up and for private showings of fantasy director’s cuts unstairs at Roark HQ. But the cancer is spreading to other Roark companies…
I hear the Lost Boys run the Roark managing directors in circles, claiming sex is the only way to sell upscale fast fast food with faster naked girls. Boy, do they have those fresh faced guys snowed. Roark’s 12 core values include claiming they are great partners in bad times. But, someone in this crumbling bacon org needs to “man” up! What could be more important to Roark then helping three of their successful marketeers, with $4 billion in gross revs, when they are at cliff’s edge ready for their fall from grace as more and more families stay away. Far away in Atlanta and New York, i wonder if their “Analytics” include measuring performance of the lost boys inside the bacon babes and hamburger harem. We know at least one of the lesbian immigrants can speak; in fact, English!! But good marketing research notes that porn has saturation issues.
FFT: You sound a little frustrated, Mr. Boxer.
Jack: When we at the Box complied with 140 degree rules for meat temp from the FDA and four children died from eColi, we didn’t blame the kind people at the Food & Drug Admin. After all, you know what happens to you if you badmouth a connected Regressive bureaucrat like Seth Rich did in a heated election. No, we upped fresh meat temps to 155 degrees+ and pulled out of BK. No, not Brandon’s ex-love Burger King, bankruptcy… steadily over time.
Four children died but showcasing barely aged fresh meat girls is just as horrible. Use em, dump em. Abuse em, get new ones. The endless supply of ever increasing porn stars. If Roark was a Hollywood producer reinvigorating starlet careers one thing. But 2D models, well..
Even my spherical handsome face can be embarrassed. My nightmare is there will be a bedroom in their lobby with the three imported girls in various poses on a bed, sans bikinis, working the fresh meat, licking the bacon jam from each of their private triangles. They did it before with topless statue of liberty Nina Agdal. Their corporate mission statement includes that Shari’s Law EEOC compliance…
You never heard of the two 11 year old finger clips?
FFT: Finger clips. What do you mean, isn’t Roark successful? You sound a little sour grapes, iconic one! It’s not the you we know.
Jack: Yes, sour grapes if your mission statement is human trafficking, productizing women and bottomless sex is your bottom line. At industry gatherings, I’ve had some heated discussions with the boys…Roark doesn’t give a damn how the Fountainhead’s name is soiled. Money talks loud in those “boys only” boardroom meetings in Georgia. No woman in her right mind would go in there unescorted.
FFT: Assuming, Brad Haley, Andy Puzder and Brandon Le Chance? What, are you jealous of their success,too?
Jack: The marketing BABies, right! No, just trying to help Roark before the virus spreads through all their companies. Women love my deep blue eyes and flawless, iconic features but I must remind them I am very married ith children. ‘Honey, hands off my eyebrowless perfect face’ i must repeat from time to time on my market research excursions. Even with the prominent ‘stash.
Brad, Andy and Brandon, I call them the Lost Boy BABies, really need to grow up. Man up. Become leaders, not of lust, but of a 21st century org.
Fact is, they have serious pornography addictions that frankly are just getting worse. They hide behind the lie that without sex, their products won’t be bought or eaten. They tell Roark Raunchies that is Sassy Sally doesn’t prick tease….come on, FFT must know this stuff:
The five stages of pornography begin with early exposure.
Addiction then happens when early naivete gives way to dependence. Third stage, where the Lost Boys seem to be, is desensitization. Look how far into the gutter currently they are. Fourth stage, which parallels Ted Bundy’s career, is escalation. The 3 way girls doing blatant lesbian sex worldwide, is well “escalation”. 4a is their purpose: erectile explosion. #5 is too late.
FFT, be patient with me. Let me read you this on porn’s killing properties:
“Depending on the level of graphic, hardcore porn the addict has viewed in order to spiral to the acting out level, some escalate to the deviant sexual behaviors and perversions of rape, child molestation, incest and even murder. Pornography could be considered a gateway drug to severe criminal behaviors.
In Ted Bundy’s final interview on the day of his execution, James Dobson uncovered the knowledge that the impetus of this serial killer’s criminal rampage began with an addiction to pornography which escalated to acting out.’ I’m concerned what happens to a great corporation, even a competitor, went the unmoored leadership goes to hell. For the record, I knew Carl & Margaret at better times. As to the current crop of pork pimps, I can’t tell you much.
‘A pornography addiction is about selfishness—getting, taking—not giving, as it would be in a normal intimate relationship with a spouse. The addiction makes it impossible for any emotional or marital familiarity, closeness or love.” Some of our lost boys are here in this place. It continues: “The admission of addiction and desire to be rid of it is the beginning of recovery. It’s the beginning of renewal, mending of self and relationships. In a perfect world, the addict will crave freedom from the addiction and seek help.” This Jack is hoping we can find them here in a year.
FFT: This is where they are?
Jack: I love good marketing competition, but the Lost Boys are very sick and don’t seem to know it. Even when told by their inner circle, they continue to droll over slut x+1.
It’s bad for the industry, their customers, their employees. But, most importantly, it is killing their relationships with their wives. What about how their kids see their dads?
Plus their violations of safety and employment standards are not good either. They can’t separate true womanhood from their fantasies; one of them even focused his social media on a Roark employee, singling out her looks over her burger abilities; he was infinitely worse than Inspector Clouseau ever could be inside Paris, the city not the C actress. A massive HR failure. Maybe he was looking for more time with the hamburger harem or maybe innocently just looking for her to service his meat. Brandon has needs to, you know. Why not ask the “Pimp.” I don’t read infantile minds.
I would never parade Mrs. Boxer to sell fresh meat, even though she is a looker. No woman on earth has more clear skin and penetrating brown eyes. Her perfectly arched ruby red smile, is to die for. But, none of your darn business BTW FFT. Love those social media abbreviations. No looky, no touchy. This isn’t Hardees…or a Roark board meeting.
FFT: Jack. Helloooo! Earth to Jack, You really are concerned?
Jack: Yeah, I caught Jack Jr. deeply immersed in SI recently.
FFT: You mean Sports Illustrated?
Jack: No, his exposure was the centerpiece of Styrofoam Illuminated. StyIlLum features many of my ethnic background naked and in revealing positions. It has gotten worse and more sleazy over time, similar to the naked swimmer mag faked as a sports book, that replaced Plaything, girl and boy, as the sleaze to pleaze pub. This woke me up.
In our culture, those approaching manhood are more malleable until they become mature plastic strong. I realized I had to help the boys at HardOn Jr. find a cure before they hit stage 5! For their sake and that of America’s next generation.
FFT: HardOn Jr.?
Jack: Oh my. Let it slip. Oops, please don’t print that; it was from some corp espionage tip slated by the Lost Boys for Carls/Hardees next shareholders/franchisees annual confab.
The horny Lost Boys told me they were doubling down on rebranding for their fave demo, the same 18-35 horndogger boys who never leave their mothers’ basements and order in pizza. So, i enlisted Ron to send in the clowns. HardOn Jr was to be unveiled, then, and next year at the Fast Food Times at Ridgemont Heights meetings we all attend for the final rebranding.
They really wanted to show us, and their shareholders, they are the smartest fast fooders in the fast food industry. It’s called the Lost Boys Project. Actually, i call it that: the lost boys call it rebranding for 2020.
And especially for that boring accountant leading a bean counter’s life, Andy, he wants a little payback to wipe out all reference to his company’s founder, Carl. Carl was just too fashioned of old, like Ron McD, me and others. Mr. Karcher’s business principles were 180% diff than the new HardOn Jr. mass sex marketing with a column Z side product of restaurant food. They’ve come a long way since Paris. A long & winding way. The C actress, not the Eiffel Tower.
But, what Roark doesn’t know that the Lost boys do, is the analytics show dumping billions into sex ads does not increase the sales to the horndoggers. They surf the chicks, the net and drool, but not on HardOn Jr burgers. Our culture is retro-ing, back to actually valuing women as human beings with more than breast meat to stand out.
FFT: you can count on us to zip our lips. After all, we are the media. We never lie. Paris?
Jack: TY. You don’t see the danger signs of porn addiction since Ms Hilton? I worry about their families and souls. No, Paris is girl scout boring to the gradual but regressive descent to the gutter of their marketing methods. The Lost Boys know full well, it’s not just the actual ads they are selling: they get a residual from every internet reference and affinity marketing work of their high priced female employees, like that statutory rapist Heidi Klum.
FFT: Jack, those are strong words. Stat rape?
Jack: you guys are media types but you also are human. Remember, Heidi’s words? “I get to seduce a cute little boy” in the affinity net marketing interviews? In the real world, this intimates a teen boy swallowed by a 40 something model who wants to go down on the little boy’s big member. Los Angeles just tossed an LAUSD female teacher in the pokey for having sex with a boy student over time; does Ms Klum want to be commercial shoots from cell T&A? Where do you think the LA teech got the idea, from Mother St Mama Teresa or the Pope?
Ads work and influence teachers as well as basement dwelling boys. That’s why we pay billions to marketing firms and marketing execs like Brandon & Brad inc. To sell fresh meat? Well, certainly not the ground beef or 12″ edible foeskinned pork bananas used in 2nd grade sex ed; the constantly changing naked ladies of the sight and sounds of food is what HardOn Jr’s all about.. That sausage the wide mouth lady lubricated could easily be in the reproductive parts section of an Anatomy book.
FFT: Good point. But, she was just fantasizing…wasn’t Heidi?
Jack: You tell me: it wasn’t in the ad but in the aftermarket interview. She didn’t need to play rapist or is the double standard in play. Only men can rape little girls and boys? You don’t need to fly with Slicky Sicky Willy and his buddy Eppy to Pedophile Isle to practice safe sex. Does Heidi get to choose four women to verify if it actually was a stat rape statement?
Can’t blame her. She’s pushing the top of the hill but still a hottie. You’d think statutory rape was the lowest the new HardOn Jr. could go. See the progression? Yet, it’s not.
FFT: What do you mean? There’s more?
Jack: You’ve seen turkey butt. Drive in movie lady, and forcing a poor girl to truckwash with her breasts wide open for everyone to see. Cleanest grill no one ever saw. You’ve seen two Texas babes doing hottie spats with the breast meat hanging over the grill.
The Oral Classic! You must recall the Anthony Weiner memorial sausage sandwich the Lost Boy BABies came up with. Lubricating up and down it’s long side, sucking it down her throat, licking it as if it made it firmer. You’d think you were in a 6th grade sex ed class with SIECUS. If you don’t know how sick SIECUS is, Google it.
Is that how you portray a rolled circumsized Italian sausage with edible foreskin? Or how planned parenthood, who owns
SIECUS and runs most of our public and many private school “healthy edgy Sex” curricula from kindersex on its preteen websites showing S&M and the proper usage of Trojan horse size pig sausage dicks. Comprehensive sex knowledge is critical to learning math, being able to eyeball actual length using pre-measured sausages.
FFT: German Brat and italian sausage are as American as…
Jack: Come on, people; this isn’t your first interview of an almost flawless icon founder in this industry. Permission to speak candidly. Do you want me to let a young lass employee suck on my proportionally large member for the TV and radio, let alone print? Whattya think the Lost Boys were portraying? What legit company does these ‘guess your owner/manager’s meat’ contests? Fresh grilled Street Fair sausage sandwiches. Where’s the bun, not including those stationed on the sausage preparing hussie. The Lost Boys fantasize their employees are doing just that. Sucking dick and washing it down with a Mountain Dew.
What else explains the Roarkettes’ constant strip and swap using disposable hotties; use one up and move on to someone new. The Harem List is apparently so long, they’ve run out of American women, possibly because a jealous slut in their increasing hamburger harem cried “Ugly Americanas need not apply”. You probably didn’t know their latest trisexual lesbian marriage comes from Sweden, the recent hijrah rape capital of the world; Australia and South Africa.
FFT: We DIDN’T know. OK, it is a long way to come to strip and do lesbian sex for the cameras.
Jack: I told you: I’m happily married; too bad the boys can’t control themselves, as they give all their employees a ‘deep throat’y look below the neckline to make sure they can take orders; not food ones but what position to bend into.
What ever country they come from, they aren’t virgin born: all three have families who hate human trafficking in sexmercials. Unless they are getting well paid?
As it is, no professional woman is safe on the commercial shoots or at HQ. Why else did they move from Carpinteria to fly over country? As to the pork ad, I know it was only 12″, miniscule by my physical standards, but the way she lubricated and sucked on it, you’d think she wasn’t thinking edible pork product but the Hulk. You know, that green guy.
It’s common knowledge to Carls/Hardee customers and shareholders that HardOn Jr went porn, as much as pork, a long time ago. They fell into the storm drain BELOW the sewer.
Honestly, you need more porn to please. I’m thinking the Weiner Special will be brought back, now that Huma prefers white pants suits to her sexting man. Who knows? Maybe poor Anthony has the same porn addiction as the sexperts team at HardOn Jr. He certianly thinks his member is a legend in its own mind.
Tony needs a job and one supposes a spot is opening on the HardOn Jr. Weiner division team, Anthony can fill. Well, truth be told, he and the three HardOn boys need electronic microscopes and tweezers to find their junk inside briefs or, yes, I get the question a lot, boxers. No, it’s not the family name applied to Fruit d’ Loom though i can see why people speculate.
FFT: But sex sells…hamburgers and bacon depend on it; customers need to see how long the sausage is before purchasing it and what better way than having a whore sizing it with her aural organ of pleasure?
Jack: OK, FFT. Seen the three immigrant sluts…tell me where the burger is?
FFT: Jack, those are strong words. Immigrant?
Jack: The boys are on the edge, and I don’t mean cutting. First they convince that poor Charlotte McK to go naked for her beach audition, then bounce her big baby feeder mammaries, disguising them as melons and her tush as tomatoes.
Gee, duh, no one thought they were sexual?!? Just cute? We aren’t as stupid as that 3 wayer who actually opened her mouth for more than 12 inches of sausage. She spoke linked words in a sentence and none of them were Totally or Seen my latest Selfie?. Of course, feigning sultry, three way chic chick saying she wasn’t trying to be sexy. Yup, she was born yesterday but the lost boys weren’t. This is the point: it is the man’s responsibility to be the father, dad and adult. You guys always demand separating the church building from the state house, but a great prelate said “It is the responsibility of every man to protect the dignity of every women.” Even if they don’t deserve it. How, FFT, do the Lost Boys measure up in the “man” department?
FFT: We see your point…
Jack: My Brewhouse disguise was much more effective; people knew exactly what the Lost Boys were selling and it wasn’t organic fresh meat. Well, other than 40DDD comfy cushions buried in the farmer’s market scales or sandy shore still on the roll breast meat.
The All Natural spots with the Charbabe set new highs err lows. The triple entendre of the man jerking off to the ice slice was cute, Charbroiled beauty cavorting thru the market weighing her melons and sharing her organic bush with everyone she met, was well. Consistent.
Jack: the lost boys are simply fresh meat pimps, who’ve built up on the shareholders’ dime, a hamburger harlot harem and bacon babes brothel they can go to anytime for servicing.
Little known, each aspiring hussie harlot is forced to sign non-disclosures requiring four male middle management HardOn Jr employees are needed to verify if inappropriate touching is going on. See Heidi’s stat rape problems? They call it wEverify for their imported hotties. Of course, all four Roark boy boardmembers chosen must grope the employee to make sure she’s organic, not raised on artificials, before the verdict. After all, she’s property of the corporation. Property, real or personal or slave, can be bought, sold.
Notice, rarely do HardOn Jr restaurant counter girls wear bikinis, so there’s even bias in uniform uniform dress for the company.
Everyone knows this; it has nothing to do with advertising food.
Families are important to their bottom line, yet the porn addicted boys are more interested in barely out of their teens’ bottoms, tops and getting inside their…well. Getting inside for marketing research. Getting the drooling demo off their sorry asses and increasing dopamine and blood to extremities. You mentioned 3 way.
FFT: Yes, their new bacon strips, jam and crumbles…
Jack: you noticed? All the world sees is three immigrant sluts doing lesbian sex with bacon stripping, crumbled non cop pig parts and sensuous jam juice. You may not see this, but their primary, it seems only customer, base does.
Even while carpel tunnelling thru hours of vid games, screaming from the basement “Mom bring me more chips. Order in pizza now”. I hate to tell the 3 Lost Boys that the real books, the legitimate analytics shows their Lost Boys demo don’t go out much and Hardee doesn’t delivery pizza. Unless it comes with a lap dancing delivery girl.
If they attached a Neilsen sizomoter to their demo’s thingees, registering action after ad, you’d find flaccid is acid to selling to the 18-35 crowd. Maybe the 3 way lesbian show is an outreach to the forgotten chattel women between 18 to 35, but no one knows the minds of Minolta. Or the Lost Boys.
Andy knows the stats: 94 million citizens are out of a job as he moaned about California biz climate (not the CO2 climate change con, but biz taxes and regs).
And, mystifying is, you’d think the boys could find three All American babes to abuse and parade before their Lost Boys, but these apparently are jobs American women won’t take: portraying lesbian sex with ‘menage a trois’ echoing in the background. Especially since the harem harlot shouts out “No Ugly American girls in here!” The working conditions, hmm. Maybe the EEOC needs to get involved; their sex division of course.
FFT: You make a good point.
Jack: Well, the Lost Boy BABies are pushing sex slavery, three way lesbian nubile style oral and anal unprotected sex with six play via three pretty weak players. The only girl that talks tries to be alluring; she’s about as alluring as a fish sandwich in the sun. Pretending to not mean what she means after bumping and grinding her CinnaBuns and lycra microscope size bush triangle. Bumping and grinding for phys ed or rumba reasons? It proves just one thing.
FFT: What’s that Jack?
Jack: Brad, Andy and Brandon need intervention. My concern is Roark roadies are counting money, not watching their troops of twat. Excuse me…not doing their due diligence on ad budgets overrun with quarters paid out by the ton.
Intervention…before it’s too late. We gotta help them out; I’ll send a note over to Lynsi to ask her to join the “Lost Boys intervention free me from porn” project. Maybe In N Out can have a counter quarter feeder for customers to donate to, to look out for men who have lost their way and need help now. How does this sound, fast food times:
“2bits 4 3 Lost Boys.?”
America is always willing to help remedy disasters and the boys are certainly digging a hole deeper and deeper. Lynsi’s smart, and doesn’t fear the competition; she honors her family’s founder’s way: a good clean company selling a great product. Excellent service. She is the nicest and most well off founder’s daughter who deserves it all in a year or so. But, she values her customer base unlike the Lost Boys. We need action and Roark can’t be counted on to help their most at-risk top management.
So, I started a fund, contributing two bits from each bacon sandwich I sell, to help the boys overcome their sexual fantasies and porn addictions. They don’t need more divorces or their daughters being leered at, any more than the tres amigoes from up north, down south and down under should be displayed as wholly owned two bit whores for the Lost BABies fantasies.
Roark might even want to avoid further scandal. While they still have a job, let alone company. Note that: these pimped girls the boys are practicing safe sex on or in, are some dad’s daughters or another family’s sister. Why should the Lost Boys beloved women at home or in the office be treated any better or worse than the porn they dispense via their corporate employees?
Recall, it is the duty of the man of character; the Lost Boys AND the Roark rauncies need to be the responsible ones, instead of saying “it’s their choice they are adults” or some other lame excuse.
But they aren’t done! I know they plan their new store openings will feature Roman columns and cushioned lounge beds for their overnight 24 hr rebranding biz. Maybe decency and common sense can overcome their arousal factor at corp HQ. Maybe not.
It’s wierd that NOSW, the national organization for some women haven’t screamed foul.
FFT: You really care. Why two bits?
Jack: It’s personal with me. The Lost Boys think of their highest priced employees as eye candy and portable sex machines. Sadly, two bit visual prostitutes, though they have to 1099 each overseas siren with huge bags of quarters.
But, yeah, i lost a good friend to porn; it’s inevitable if unchecked and healed. Suicide.
He started down the slide to hell and i didn’t see it in time. Porn, led to Vegas to prostitutes, hiding it all from, and losing, his wife. Then, came depression and ending a good man’s life..by his own hands. Don’t want it to happen, even to cocky i know better than you ancient unedgy founder, competition like the Lost Boys of fresh meat.
Someone out there must care about Andy, Brad and Brandon after hours; I’m not the best man of faith, very rigid in my persona, but i gotta believe Carl AND the mother of his 12 kids are both praying in heaven for their healing before they head to hell unredeemed and unrepentant. Hell hath no fury like a used woman-child stripped to her core and paraded for the gourmet gauntlet of mama’s boys.
Their wives, daughters, employees, mistresses and harem harlots are powerless to help them. Nothing seems to change their lecherous drooling over new meat with each new product offering, and it’s not the sandwiches i mean.
You can’t miss their diseased minds, if you follow the bouncing breasts like a 50s song.
They get bigger and more sleazy go the porn shoots. Andy, Brad and Brandon have been screaming for help for a long time; their families know it; certainly their franchisees and shareholders do as well. Most of their customers that count, who don’t droll on anything with two legs and resembling a female, see it as well.
Families, their core customers, would even like to be invited back to their restaurants and not have to use the drive-thru. Or they will continue to come to my or Lynsi’s place, which is fine by me, where the only wardrobe malfunction would be a Coke spill on a lady employee’s uniform.
Their wardrobe is a little less costly, since they make more the less than wear. And top dollar to the naked nina and tresbian bacon babes.
It’s time for HardeeCarls to actually use clever ads again and leave snuff porn to the multi billion$ porn industry. Let hell do their worst in other industries. HardOn Jr. should grow up and do promotion without a Famous Star “where’s waldo” game in every ad.
The Lost Boy are BABies; rank amateurs compared to the degradation the professional women abusers foist on the world. We know they believe women are better served in parts; why do they sell Char’s breasts as weighed produce on tomato scales? Their commercials are saturated with sexual innuendo, and rarely do you see one thing.
FFT: What’s that?
Jack: A burger. Of course, follow the money. Their affinity marketeers at planned parenthood love their “iconic” ad work; it makes harvesting severed baby heads more humane. After all, selling organic parts is not an easy sell. But, if the Lost Boys set the example that the world believes women are just products, and the products of their conception are factorable and marketable, getting $715 a severed head becomes acceptable.
FFT: Come on, Jack. No one pays $715 for a kid’s part.
Jack: You are right. NOT! the University of Texas Med pays only $150 per heart from PP Gulf Coast. It is Roark’s Tim Armstrong’s Alma Mater, Yale Med that pays $715 each for a baby Rosehead on a platter. No salad; hold the Heinz red.
FFT: what’s that got to do with lesbian bacon jam?
Jack: Desensitization, stage 3. A huge step in the regressive porn fall into the pit. Turn precious and beautiful human models, women of all ages into sex objects. Ever take a BioScience class?
These beauties can take a single cell and convert it into a 75 trillion celled baby in 280 days. You must chattelize, their women into objects, to sell them. And that famous 18-35 demo loves to get charged on the menagerie of three and the rest, then inpregnate unsuspecting women and take them to planned parenthoodlums for child harvesting. I wouldn’t put it past the PP rapist protection program to pay the Lost Boys a per head finder’s fee everytime they bring in a 12 year old for abortion and harvest. Probably give out 3 Way coupons to the teens to remind them the missionary position is passe.
Did you know High schoolers recently dissected baby brains at the University of New Mexico Med. And it wasn’t a HardOn Jr. food lab.
FFT: Teens dissected baby brains? Waaah. You are nuts, Jack.
Jack: Maybe too many cashews in this plastic surrounded brian, but the truth’s the truth. Baby Rose is the most famous severed head; she died in Houston in 1987. Look at this guy’s picture. Yeah, i know he looks exactly like that ghoulish evil character in the last Harry Potter movie. Without the wand and a LOT more evil at the Albuquerque campus he works.
Yet, ask Dr. Roth what his UNMMed lab did this summer. Albuquerque is the world capital of harvesting fully formed kids and if you desensitize teens to the brutality of slicing up baby girls calvaria in a lab, getting them as 18-35 porn viewing customers is no major step. His processing clinic, Southwest Women’s Options takes in full term babies inside their moms, lethal injects not eColi but Digoxin into non mass murderer’s arms, but baby’s hearts. Mom moves next door to the Plaza Inn to deliver her babe alive or dead on the hotel porcelain throne of their choice: a fitting end for a cute princess minutes to birth, the Rio Grande sewer system IF the princess fits down the toilet pipe.
Jack: It’s all linked, FFT. If women are property, so are their kids. Ever hear of the Personhood dodge?
Ironically, Women have fought for years to be thought to have brains. Despite HilLIARy’s running rapist interference for her hubby. How do the Lost boys help this, parading them naked and voiceless and slutty before the world? Supposedly to hock fresh meat. They are more like black slaves, not on today’s PP plantations, but the ones in the South in the 19th century. Today’s black boys are small and ARE the harvest.
FFT: Voiceless? What’s calvaria?
Jack: Calvaria means heads, Latin is used to impress and distract from reality, like foetus, embryo, product of conception and more. Like porn: the more you want the less you realize and the more you see the more degrading it needs to be. Menage a trois, from the French not fries, means three in a house. This not so subliminal mouthing happens as the preteen three way commences in the spotless kitchen in the HardOn Jr ad. True meaning: sex three way all day. Anyone older than 11 can figure this out. As it is, our 11 year olds gave up adolescent years before.
Remember, amazingly, one hamburger harem harlot did link a couple words together while parading her stuff, that american girls are ugly and need not apply. Apparently, the lesbian immigrants get paid more for their shoot than any female Hardee manager sees in a year. There’s no glass ceiling if you include the hamburger harlots, who are subcontracted employees, but represent the new HardOn Jr. in ALL their work. You didn’t hear HardOn Jr from me, remember.
FFT: Yes, Jack. mum’s the word.
Jack: You can’t separate their other work even if done on a different time and dime.I don’t know if Roark can EVER recover.
Imagine, if Disney’s cast members moonlight as pirate whores, like Kamala Harra$$, raiding and pillaging David Daleiden’s home because he exposed her human traffickers at PP; Disney doesn’t allow carousing and chasing women outside the Caribbean, well at least publicly though sometimes those cartoon artists are sneaky hiders.
Obviously, the lost boys value the sluts more than the workers. Maybe it’s the extracurricular back work they don’t tell their wives about. I don’t know. But this I do: the boys need our help. They can’t help themselves. Porn is not curable, like certain STDs, but controllable. And once Roark’s reputation is flushed in California or St Louis, it’s hard on to get it back in Atlanta. The link is inseparable.
FFT: Count us in. We will have a committee at the Fast Food Times of Ridgemont Heights convention next…
Jack: No, they need acute care right now. Committees are a dead end for something like this. I will have Mrs. Boxer contact the boys’ wives and families to set up an intervention date. They are so much farther gone than we thought.
FFT: Will it work?
Jack: That’s up to the boys. Stage 5 is “acting out sexually” and deviantly; i know some of the three have gone too far. But there is still hope.
Porn kills, like it did to my friend Rich (not Seth) and it infects everyone it touches. So many orgs reach out, but if the porn addicts, like any other gateway drug, don’t understand they have a real problem, nothing happens. Mr. Dobson outlines the five stages; the boys are in between 3 and 5. Details are at this website, explaining the five levels and stages of porn addiction: http://newsok.com/article/5407775
Frankly, three way lesbian sex is not the bottom just the top of the bottom. If they wanted to show how it really works, they could have hired the sexperts Brynn, Kitten and Doll. The Bacon burger would have been easy to see against the three wedding gowns.
But sweaty hot blonde immigrants is what the hardy lost boys wanted. We ain’t seen nuttin’ yet! They want to get up sales faster than a horndogger demograph seeing all of the Char.
HardOn Jr’s next step will be, for the first time since Texas slop burgers with Daisy and Dizzy Mae stroking each other, the ultimate orgy combo. Transanimal specials. Either gender. 6+ on the 1-5 porn scale.
Maybe a fast porn reprise: Male sausage prostitutes meet 3 way lesbian sluts overseen by a stat rape matron, giving lessons. The bottom is waaaay down for Roark’s lost boys. But, we have to try before it’s too late for Andy, Brad and Brandon. They will call it the 5 course all meat meal promo. But, a bit of departure for the Cinnabuns’ MDirectors in NYC and ATL.
FFT: How will this be different?
Jack: Becoming orgasmic party play houses with mobile transport. Normal, though soft porn during daylight hours. Then, ticketed events. They will shut down all their stores at 10pm for private parties; putting flesh on the same orgies they force us to watch on TVs in HiDef in our homes. The lost boys know it’s not sex that is selling out the families and their customers. They are.
Roark Core Value #6 is “Expectations. We do not settle for “good enough.” Maybe the major owner of HardOn Jr. has put sooo much pressure on the lost boys that Andy, Brand & the Pimp to perform, that they too, don’t see the precious womanhood in the forest of sleaze they are trapped in. Or maybe Roark boys will be boys like visiting the commercial sexcapade shoots for product quality control. That’s their consciences, not mine. At least one of the major stake responsible owners are very uncomfortable with the regression to sewage. At least one.
3 way was designed to desensitive us to tri sex, triple down on using women as sperm recipients and selling edgy over sound investment strategies. Porn and poor management oversight go hand in hand: you are only as good as your last screw. Is this what Roark wants to be known for? The bare facts are: you can’t control porn once it goes viral. And you can’t put the uniform back on your Carls Jr employees when the world has already seen it gone. Women are incredibly beautiful beings; these retrobate reprobates want 100% access to all employees for uniform inspection reasons.
Ask the CharBabe, who’s audition never ended. She will be seen forever or until the Lost Boys see Jesus in the clouds above saint louie…
Ask any of the Roark Young Turks, you get the same answer from newbie Yalie Tim, the Aronson brothers, Toby, EZ Ezra, Mr. Roman, Erik the Red and Dr Ruth Supreme’s namesake Mr. COOl Paul: she looks better than my wife but business is business. I rarely picture Char’s remains more than once a minute while making love to my trophy chattelwife at home.
If you’ve used one woman you’ve used them all. Market cinnamon flavored buns with or without green card imported tresbian bacon babes. The almighty buck remains our god, far more supreme than faith, family and flag.
After it’s all said and done, if the lost boys hit hell’s bottom, and we at Roark did nothing, it’s their fault. Something like plausible deniability. Intervention is their families’ problem not ours. “Integrity, as demonstrated by Roark, is commitment to one’s own thinking and one’s own mind… Howard Roark’s life exemplified the true nature of this independence and integrity.” What? One slut at a time?
Hamburger Harem managing partner Brad just says it’s marketing; well, pardon my prudish squeeky clean oversized head attitude, its porn on USDA choice animalistic hormones. Triple triple down, combining sex marketing with multi-meat Romaniello toga style feasts is coming. Gotta get their horny demograph into the restaurants after all this wasted millions upon millions of ad bucks. Will HardonJr’s roll out be in Atlanta at Roark HQ? New Roark NY or St Louis? And even if sex helps more than the girl’s bottoms being seen, is it worth it. Lost Boys; Roark Raunchies: is it REALLY worth it to destroy women?
FFT: Wow. Didn’t expect this from this interview. Scoops galore.
Jack: No one did. That’s the problem. If the Lost Boy had ended this after Paris, we wouldn’t have women still treated like boy toys and sperm depositories in Chicago or LA.
Follow the news? 1200 guys gauntleted HardOn Jr’s favorite targets, practicing for HardOn Jrs 2020 hopeful change to total Romanesque no-donut-holes-barred sexploits. Of course, Roark and the lost boys will have to be there for test marketing and ongoing quality control.
Rapper ho videos aren’t the only place women are disrespected even raped; Chris Brown is a boy scout compared to where the Lost Boys plan to take their company, unless grown ups stand up and say “enough IS enough.”.
It’s well beyond Texas BBQ chick fights. Dobson had to live through the porn wars in the 80s and take multiple showers; today, we see it pushing dildo pork at former great restaurants. Voyeurs: Enough IS enough; this is what happens when you let kids do a man’s job in marketing leadership. Same with Roark: they’ve lost control of their impressive ship. One bad apple turns women into salable marketable chattel and there goes the barrel.
One HardOn Jr clip happened during the Super Bowl and when little Jack Jr. just happens to turn on the boob tube. And, it telescopes to post-ad interviews and HardOn Jr.’s employees taking more and more off to stay ‘edgy’. Their swimming SI work reflects on the company.
Right off the edge of the cliff. We want the Lost boys healed and found so they can resume being productive members of society and better fathers and husbands when the time comes. Maybe even respectful employers and bosses, not lecherously using their buxom female employees for their prurient needs. No woman is ugly, even if that PhDed hamburg harem harlot says so. If the LBs need a leave of absence, at least they won’t go to hell. And hell is where the whole place is the charbroiling chain driven meat cooker.
FFT: Thank you for your time.
Jack: Thank you. I will keep you posted. “Two bits to help the Lost Boy threesome” is our working title. “2bits 4 3 Lost Boys.” They need institutional help; suggestions they have ignored from mothers and families’ pleas have gone unanswered. Due to peer pressure and Brad’s continued con they make more money selling sex than sausage is finally being seen as baseless base acts of horny lost boys.
FFT: How do you know it effects their bottom line? SI’s 50th featured handy bottoms and they are still standing? Will Roark take back the reins or be the impotent MDs collecting their checks and deferred options. Is this the finger clip thing you mentioned?
Jack: Whoa down, fast food times. I don’t know everything about Roark; I’m hoping they get their boys help before it’s too late; I will ask my staff to send them a “2 bits 4 3 Lost Boys” quarter insert card at both HQs. But corporations ARE bodies and take on a certain personality just like a human. But, my beautiful Mrs. Boxer caught a picture of the Raunchy Atlanta Roark little boys’ next innovation which shows this cancer has moved from HardOn to corporate HQ. It combines the basic human needs, of food, sex and breath, in one mobile device that can’t be held in your hand: but the HardOn mobile employees WILL provide you plenty of sexy hands and mouths to handle your member upon request.
FFT: Is THIS the finger clip? Anyways, give us another scoop to lay on America.
Jack: No, not the finger clip. But, yes, we followed the new Coach for a long way; donning my disguise, I walked over to the mobile truck kitchen in the parking lot at the Playboy mansion.
Of course, Brandon didn’t recognize me, as usual, but the driver & program manager told me the skins were just put on for its test run in Atlanta. He elaborated that it was time; Atlanta HQ never allowed those SuperSexyBowl ads east of the Mississippi (something about prudish, idiotic bible belt families would boycott all of Roark’s companies) and finally gave in to their edgy Lost Boys and of course, their basic lust for their employees’all natural burger bottoms, bouncy tops and handy capabilities.
FFT: Thank you for giving us your wife’s photos. I am sure Raunchy Roark doesn’t want them in the public domain yet.
Jack: Yeah, Andy and Brad were in the back with a bunch of the Hamburger Harem Harlots & Bacon Babes, told Brandon, let’s get this coach on the road. Still, not recognizing my amazing alter ego, the “Pimp” told me it was under the covers until 2019. All I heard was one of the 3 way lesbian employees practicing her lines with the “Ugly American girls” harlot. It’s not easy remembering four or five words in a row when you are blonde, according to Brandon.
FFT: Come on, Jack. You are using us for some kind of fast food feud. Those mobile trucks are filled with kitchen; there’s barely room for the cooks.
Jack: No, I snuck a peek, though my rather large head barely fit through the hanging beads door where the red light was attached.
Sorry, FFT. No kitch for the Raunchy Roark Coaches. The equipment is gone, it’s filled with beds and couches, a couple Xbox consoles and there’s room for at least a dozen or more of their most well endowed but scantily clad Roark employees. If Roark wants to show their employees in the public domain, stands to reason they are used as fresh meat samples on their Goodwill coaches. Additional innovations I saw, quickly were signs that read Sexual Salt & Pepper, Statue Rape, Fresh Breast Meet… Raunchy Roark believes America, even those idiotic bible belters who believe woman are NOT property, will come around by 2020. Look how far they’ve come since Paris. The little boys room on the top floor of Roark Atlanta will certainly, by omission, sanction this.
FFT: Wow! But, what about the food? No kitchen means no HardOn Jr or CinnaBuns to go with the aftersex cigarettes…pot, not the cooking kind, need muchie satisfaction.
Jack: I asked. Ever seen an outer space station docking airlock with the Shuttle? The Roark Raunch Coaches are engineered with an airlock that matches the back door of most HardOn company stores.
The franchisees in 2019 will be given the option to retrofit their back doors as well, but not all of them will buy in to the ‘sex with a tiny side of beef’ and sausage innovation. Yeah, a few of them will mutter that Carl & Margaret wouldn’t like their Famous Star become one in hell and whores, but money speaks louder than well…burgers.
FFT: But fire regs require two exits?
Jack: worry not. The skins on the “when we’re rockin’ don’t bother knockin’ ” portabordella mushroom coaches will advertise what’s happening. That fave 18-35 horndogger demograph will flock quarters in hand to the red light, finally, for the first time in years, patronizing HardOn without Mommy’s Pizza. They won’t dock until 10:01pm, the normal curfew for under 18. Of course, any age will be accommodated. KinderSex, after all, is taught by HardOn’s affinity company, planned parenthood, in the early grades. I can read your minds, FFT: Heidi K will be a special order to handle “the cute little boys for seduction”.
FFT: Amazing innovative integration. Will Lynsi or you, Wendy’s or the Colonel, do the same.
Jack: Never. Certainly not Lynsi; we believe women are smart, beautiful and able to speak in sentences; they are not property or sperm receptors for mommie’s boys.
Unlike Roark’s Lost Boys, we don’t need sex to sell our superior food offerings. Howard Roark’s raunchy ones have to hide their fresh meat inside Charbroiled breasts, limp sausage’s pre-salivated for entry pork and the rest of their weak marketing efforts.
But, you asked about a finger clip. I met a mom (yes my disguise goes back years. See how effective!) who was at a Carl’s when Nina’s naked cut out stood six feet tall in the lobby. Mrs. Johns’ son was with her and watched two 11 year old post-adolescent boys doing a video shoot, not much different than what goes on for the marketing campaigns Brad & LePimp Chance, for some reason, spend a lot of corporate time “overseeing”. Looking to rebranding 2020, maybe.
Difference was one 11 year old was sticking his finger up Nina’s paper vagina and the other 11 year old was iPhone videoing and God only knows if he posted it.
Probably the 11 year old’s mom was in the restaurant and had no idea; a lot of parents have no clue what their kids are taught in elementary school by HardOn Jr’s education arm, Planned parenthood. We all know they are acting out what they learn in their PP sex ed classes but why must the Lost Boys accelerate the loss of adolescence in their meat markets? On the commercial shoots, that kind of stuff goes on all the time but away from the cameras. The adults need to act like…adults. Women have been selling their bodies forever, as men do as well, but it’s not critical to product sales UNLESS you have bonehead marketeers who have zero ideas.
But, when i saw the proof of the secret sauce ad below, I doubt if founder Carl and Margaret were thrilled having 11 year olds finger fucking in their restaurants…and another reason the Lost Boys will be doing a sleight of hand, changing the corporate branding to their real mission: mainline pornography, selling tickets to overnight orgies with a side plate of beef, pork, turkey, fish and fries. Whole lot more money in that, they surmise. I saw one of their prototype restaurants, disguised of course. Talk about building a controversial wall! It takes your top employee awards to a whole diff level. And…
The Lost Boys have taken product placement to new heights and need intervention. The product: naked women doing more edgy stuff beyond statutory rape, finger fucks with cardboard pinups and menage a trois lesbian immigrant H1Bi visa sex. As difficult as it is with my lilly white complexion, I blush royal.
FFT: Gotta end this interview. You were very informative and best of luck on getting the boys some help.
Jack: Thank you, I hope to. Brandon, Brad & Andy deserve a happy forever and getting them help on earth is very important. But, off to take my lovely lady to a mommy daddy date; you can sell food AND treat women like the incredible, specially created, totally complex beings they are. IF you put your mind to it and keep your hands off other people’s daughters and sisters.
Or succumb; sell them as two bit whores. It takes a man of character and Chivalry to do the right thing when no one is looking. That’s what manly man character is. Hope at least one of the Roark’s Boys Room and Lost Boys are adults who believe women and girls are precious just by being…women and teens. And don’t discriminate against women at the counter as well as on the screen. Funny, rarely do the screen HardOn employees ever make it to the restaurants. Is Roark that embarrassed and ashamed about them? They make fools of them, just using them for what’s NOT in their head.
Women are NOT fresh meat to be mutilated and used like Sugar Babies serviced by Sugar Daddies for gobs of quarters by the bag.
This isn’t UCI, after all, who has a website to link up the two.
One year from now, maybe just maybe, the boys of summer, the Lost Boys of beef, pork and chicken, will shed the porn label and get back to being manly Chivalrous men. Not holding my well formed nose or carbon dioxide laden breath. But hoping miracles still happen.
Miss 3 Way Sweden’s homeland already has discovered, like my native Cologne (my family name was Boxmen but changed it to a Fruit d’Loom here), that out of control men love porn stage 4&5. 1200 proved such outside the Cathedral where the world’s most famous immigrant’s bones, the Magi, are housed. Those fine kings followed the Famous Star to find the Savior in, of all places, Bethlehem. No not Florida or Pennsylvania.
In Cologne, recent visiting “boys will be boys” formed a celebratory gauntlet on New years eve to grab, fondle, use and rape all females like they were back in Shari’s Lawland North Africa. Rapes were way up at Sweden’s music fest as well as throughout the country.
Pretending marketing porn does not effect worldwide attitudes is well, stupid. Providing world-class service in the LGBT-QSR sector shouldn’t include stripping and productizing women as if they were….bacon. Stripped, crumbled and jam are just organic vibrators, of enticement, in the ads.
11 year old kids doing finger fucks are nothing compared to where the HardOn Jr lost boys will take Roark, unless a grown-up mature manly Chivalric true Roark man can be found in the little boys room in Georgia.
I wonder what these boys of New Roark think when they look at THEIR OWN daughters. Time to get audition tapes and video, like Char and the immigrant 3, to HardOn Jr Humans as Resources Dept? I just can’t see the Aronsons or any other happy “little boys roomers” cheering for the Putz, Haylot and the Pimp, looking at their wives and 16 year old daughters in the buff. Char, believe it or not, is not a blow up dummy but some father’s daughter. Of course, he claims he is proud of her “work”. But, in a quiet moment, he probably would admit differently.
FFT: TY Jack
Jack: Thank you. Now, each of you owe me two bits. Here’s the card they go in. Pay up.
The Director’s fantasy lesbian slut sex cut, honoring HardOn Jr’s continued effort to lose customers but be controversial about teenybopper three way women, one of which can speak more than “Totally” or “Pitch my face with a fork”
PR Dept…Ad Universe by line: “A face you can’t miss, Mr. Jack N Boxer, CEO of a famous fast food restaurant chain, weighs in on the state of his industry’s marketing methods.”
Find one sample of countertop “2 Bits 4 3 Lost Boys Porn Addiction Intervention” quarter