HELPING HOLLYWOOD FOLKS KEEP THEIR PROMISES in these trying times.
I want to offer to help Miley Cyrus and other Hollywood leftist liberals who promised to leave the country should Mr. Trump become president-elect. These fine refugees are EarlyGoerNeverTrumpers on record last March. Since a Hollywooder’s word is his or her bond, this real estate professional is at the ready.
Apparently, the depression is real and I need to pitch in, for their survival and well-being.
So, i am Len Beckman, Real Estate Relocator to the Stars…and Beyond!
And I can honestly see why they want to U-Haul out of country: On Nov 9, 2013, these poor super-rich& famous couldn’t even drive down the Hollywood (101) freeway due to cracks in the American pavement of civility.
Seeing thousands of “some black lives matter” and college millennials missing Linus blankets and pacifiers, practicing safe angst, blocking single moms from getting to work and dads from getting home, shows why our Hollywood intelligentia are ready to go elsewhere to spread their wisdom. Can’t blame them; all those UCLA students stomping on American flags and burning a Donaldhead in a barrel can be intimidating.
The one sign I agree with 100% is the most oft repeated. I can remember a time before my eleven graced this world, where the F-word was a rarity when a surfer had a narly wipeout, or a drunken sailor. Today, it is an equal opportunity offender, any color any age any sex, whether a 14 year old girl with her buddies using it like toilet paper or every college kid and rapper trying to get noticed in life.
Is this America’s new normal? Maybe not. Chivalry is being mended and re-introduced and even Miley can be helped. Like much healing and growing up we need to do, maybe we can reverse the disease called “rapper syndrome” where Hoes are discussed more often in the day to day than at a gardener’s convention.
That sign: “He’s not my F@@$%$%ing president”. Trump is NOT my F@%@$%ing president, either. Nor theirs.
Contrary to the rioters’ beliefs, yes they are rioters, doing the 10K around LA then obstructing people’s peaceful lives on the 101 “Race for the Pure”, the last real F@@$%#$%@%%^ing president was Mr. Clinton, whose list of female, young and old, conquests on Pedophile Isle while business married to Mrs. Clinton, approaches 2000 or so. Yeah, Hillary made it to Orgy Porgy Epstein’s isle six times but who’s counting.
Some abusing Willie and anything that moves coitals on Arkansas state and DC federal time were consensual, years with Gennifer Flowers, some were brutal rapes, with Arkansas friend Kathleen “I need a job” Willey, the $850K payoff Paula “I’ve seen the crooked dick” Jones and the double Juanita “Ice that” Broadderick. And thank God, that F%@#$%@#$%ing past president will not have access to the Lincoln bedroom, cigars and blue dresses in the white house yet again. Or his Alinsky thesis wife. Sad thing: the rioters (a protester becomes a rioter like herded cattle when their looney leftist professors cancel class and they walk onto a state highway where Prius, even, go 70 mph.) are just tooooo brainwashed to seek the truth. One wonders if Obama realizes his true conundrum: you can’t pardon a SecState who wasn’t indicted by Comey. There’s nothing to pardon! And if he pardons her for nothing, he could be indicted after Jan 20 for putting state secrets on a server not protected with planned parenthoodlum condoms that was hacked by five foreign lands. But we digress.
As a licensed real estate professional, i can sell the underprivilegeds’ mansions here in California and refer them to agents anywhere in the world. I will leave no Prop 64 stoner unturned, whether their destination is Mexico or Canada, Jupiter or Mars, wherever they want to move. Go retro and relo to Cuba or Venezuela, or the eastern European tour through Poland etc.
If America is sooooo bad, it is time to get them to safer digs. Look no further than the Hollywood freeway below the Hollywood sign for proof. Kids taking underwater basketweaving 101 do a Peter Pan (I’ll never grow up) frat party stomp in lanes #1 thru #4. Thank you, Mr. Soros, for your kind funding so American youth can look like idiots.
Relocating where? Whoopie has lots of experience, hyperspacing through the cosmos as a Star Trek bar tender; but i am not licensed for the Gamma quadrant. How about England?
So, the interglobalists will be a tad more trying. What will be difficult is arranging for Sonny’s wife to get to Jupiter; we are still working on colonizing Mars and no real estate plots are available, although Matt Damon has a pioneering claim for his potato farm on the red planet.
But, Cher said she plans on relocating to the largest planet in the star system. I thought maybe she meant Jupiter, Florida but i believe that state is still in Obama’s 57 states that comprises the Arab league in the middle east and his version of these united states.
My curriculum vitae: I have an MBA and 25 years experience helping sellers and buyers meet their real estate dreams. I will now branch off into helping relieve Cher, Sam Jackson, Whoopie, Al, Hannah Montana and others leave behind their nightmares brought on by election night jitters..
I sold a Greek Revival mansion but it was in Anaheim and went to a great New Zealand boutique hotel family; and some units in Beverly Hills in recent years, so I know LA well. OC, Inland Empire. BevHills. Anywhere in Moonbeamland. California.
Hollywood Rich&famous: I will drive you personally to the airport of your choosing and take care of your affairs (well, the real property ones, not the adulterous kind…those are your real issues not covered by the Calif Bureau of RE) as best as i can. I have 11 kids so well versed in multi-tasking…and feeding them.
Photos follow; call me for a confidential interview at 714 267 1413. I will not divulge if, in fact, you DID vote for the Donald. After all, as a real estate professional, i cannot be biased just because someone votes different than I did. I have a code of ethics and keep promises: i value my clients.
Early AfterElection Results
Miley called and related her disgust back in March about this other Hollywood guy getting to the White House. She said recently Mr. Trump was caught doing guy talk on a bus about grabbing pussy cats; as an animal rights advocate, that is so disgusting, mauling someone else’s pussies.
Sometimes, celebrities can be a bit unreliable, so I asked her opinion about Trump4Prez:
“We’re all just f—king jam between his rich ass toes! Honestly f—k this s—t I am moving if this is my president! I don’t say things I don’t mean!” Wow, lot’s of drunken sailor words. I thought we were just irredeemable, deplorable…now toe jam?
Miley shown above having a proctological exam by aspiring doctors
Speaking of vernacular, Miley is a woman of her word; so I have started a search for moshpits BnBs for temporary housing in Cuba and Venezuela. First I suggested she get gynecological and proctological services from her fan doctors since Cuba reuses tongue depressors from the 50s and Venezuela’s gross national product is in Hugo’s daughter’s numbered Swiss account.
Adulthood peeked through post-election for Miley; she recorded about two minutes thanking the Clinton crime family while pleading with Mr Trump not to scorch earth the whole country. She called him ‘her president’. “Growing up is so hard to dooooo…” or is it Making up?
But, maybe i lost a biz opp to sell Miley’s Mansion. She is staying here. Oh well. Thee are plenty more. George won’t say but he’s going somewhere; Italy is granting amesty to certain American Emigres, to balance their North Africa intake.
But the good news is: this really sounds like Hannah Montana is growing up. Maybe she did some self reflection; screaming at Mr Trump about pussy cats while having her worshiping fans stroking her pussy cats with her odd mature, grown up permission, shows a little ‘action vs words’ hypocrisy.
And dad, the amazing country singer Billy Ray, still says he is behind his daughter; hopefully, so far behind he doesn’t have to watch her degrade her too tightly toilet trained naked self like a billion or so on this voyeuristic planet. No father should have to see this, especially just years after watching her act for preteens through her teen years only to join those rapper social satirists who scream “F@$@$%$%ing Jew Bast_rd”. Oops, my mistake: that phrase comes from Miley’s mentor, Hillary. And she’s not an Israeli rapper.
No, the guys who think beautiful, complex and precious women are Hos, and “F###&#ing Nig_a B_tches”. Those UCLA students, filled to the brim with their Regressive Leftist professors’ poison, kindly suggested Mr. Trump needs to have sexual intercourse outside marriage, though he is vowed to the beautiful Melania. Signs “F_ck Trump” just show that planned parenthood does a poor job in their teen websites, promoting “50 hades of grey” sado-masochism. F_ck is not an interjection but a synonym for keeping this dying planet filled with homo sapiens sapiens.75 countries are one generation away from extinction, what with no or low birthrates. Kids make us adults AND keep countries prosperous. Even after 1.88 billion yes 1.88 billion have been killed for parts.
Anyways, Al “SharpTongue” Twana Straight Arrow is on the other line; he’s looking for some acreage in Indian territory, as far from the Pakistan border as possible. Or to find a new constituency in Northern Africa to do his infomercials “All Cops Suck” and “Racist is Word One”. “DFAADAVESDAHAHRAHYC” Huh?
“What’s that Al?” Oh, that’s Jesse “abortion is black genocide” Jackson asking for directions to my office… he wants to discuss a pardon for Ma Clinton, even though there are no indictments to pardon. Call it the Comey Surprise.
. “Al, i will have to get back to you; that Wind Wing lady wants to go down under”.
Babs Streisand wants to go to Melbourne; I must warn her. There is an anti-American Aussie PM Laborious Terri Bondo Butler who hates Americans flying into her country WITHOUT her blessing. The Labor coach PM. Although human labor, not motherly labor. For the moms, she suggests kill the kid and sell its parts.
She stopped some guy named Troy Newman in Denver while on the way to Los Angeles, because Terri did not want him telling her DownUnders that babies are alive and mothers are not stupid. Her idea of Labor is it’s a party not a time honored process to populate the earth. But, Barbara, I will honor your request, but let’s try Sydney. Once we sell your Bev Hills place, we will buy that wind farm looking singing house. You can do opera, ma’m, can’t you?
Another notable is our beloved Dr Ruth Ginsburg who wants to go to New Zealand, some of who’s finest just bought an Anaheim iconic mansion to turn into a kinder, gentler B&B. In her SCOTUS words:
At least the childbirth is safer than planned parenthood butcher’s work down under.
So, people as you pray for a peaceful transition in this, the greatest country on God’s green earth, pray for these oppressed Hollywood clients of mine. It’s not easy being rich and powerful, famous and beautiful, especially when we don’t get one’s way.
For that, one has to be an adult, something in short supply on the 101 and near the Cathedral of the Angels. Of course, if you hate America and the voters who did not vote your way, why not try a sit-in. there is another sorry asspiring $10 million football baby, who is helping redefine the NFL as No Fans Left.
KaePrick should be the poster child for the first daily/annual 11/10 Hollywood Freeway “Race to be Pure&Perfect” 5K fast lane walk poster child: if you don’t like the lie about that Ferguson thug Michael Brown, believe “Hands Up Don’t Shoot” is true.
Do a sit in, like KaePrick when he sits his sorry assets on the bench when “Jose, can you see?” is being sung to help that 49ers fan in nosebleed end zone seats get a better view.
And this overpaid benchbookender didn’t even VOTE! Yes, Weiner err Whiner KaePrick didn’t even cast a full ballot; matches the quality of his passes these days. One wonders how many of the impassioned revelers did as well.
Leftist professor poisoned UCLA and CalState LA students: you are being lied to and lied to. Just because your view of America is what you see in a mirror, like the Hollywood self-emigres, i am at the ready to sell your mansion and find you new digs.
You know, sell high, buy low, JLow: I hear prop values are waaay down in Hugo’s toilet paper free Venezuela; and Fidelus Cuba has awesome vintage 1950s cars available to go with less expensive plantations of sugar and tobacco.
Call me at 714-267-1413 and let’s get this relocation thing going.
However, aspiring rapper/Hollywood starlet students, if you want to some day grow up and leave those microaggression insulated safe zones for the real world, lay down your Linus blanket and abandon your college teeth sized pacifiers, adulthood, initiative, jobs, careers, marriage, children and entrepreneurial opportunities await you.
Even should you graduate from your Ivy Tower of Pisa left leaning style institution of ?? learning still in possession of your God-given mind after an intensive 8 year university career of indoctrination. With those Navient student loan laden marketables like a BS in Navel Lint or XXXX Studies, whose only job opp is staying in safe zones like UCLA or CSLA
College Kiddies and rich Hollywood clients, it’s this single dad of 11 great kids’ opinion, America is NOT your problem: it’s the giant mirror reflecting a legend in one’s own mind set in concrete in front of your face and life. I say this humbly: Get over yourself!
If Hillary had won, she would be my president. I got over myself when that first of 11 kids descended the birth canal of one of the world’s greatest mothers, Donna, who now is in heaven. Kids are positive lifechangers unlike no other. Killing them before birth, like plantation parenthoodlums convince you on campus, keeps you on the plantation of perpetual spoiled adolescence indefinitely.
Unfortunately, in this world that suspends reality and delays adulthood-fostering marriage into one’s third+ decade, it’s hard to get over oneself and see what America is all about. It IS a beautiful and great land, with its islands of rioters and Regressive Leftist Soros-inflamed dissent that some day WILL grow up and realize: “I have a life to lead!”
I lived, as you did, through 8 years of Obama and what he has done TO America. Yes he was my president and Trump will also be. Sadly, Miley Cyrus or your professor of regressive white patrimony never told you just how tough he has made our, your and mine, land.
And if you still want to go to Antarctica or Arctic, where polar bears are overpopulated since their first coke can appearance, i will joyfully represent your mansion. Should you decide to leave this great land for Castro, HugoC’s, or other places people are desperate to escape FROM. To get TO America, even jumping the line as if you are waiting for rapper tickets at Staple’s Center and get impatient. Ready to help.
I feel your pain. I really do. So do the single moms who work three jobs to keep her inner city son out of the gangs and in college. The same college you streamed out of, when your leftist profs cancelled class so you could take your brainwashed selves onto the nearest onramp of death traps. The single mom will contine to work endless hours; but the decision is yours: will YOU grow up, look in the mirror and realize there is soooo much of America that is opportunity, if only you outgrow yourself and realize it “ain’t about you”.
It’s about the children, the same children your favorite politician holds at campaign stops and stops being alive at your campus medical center before they see pregnant daylight.
You ARE much better than this: if you must cry, do so. I have cried often in my life, especially when the life of my Donna, mothe of 11, drained out of her body in September 2011, two days and one year before Obama and Mrs Clinton let four men die in Ben Ghazi. I will be at the ready to sell your mansion because someone has sold you a bill of goods: America is NOT racist, homophobic, LGBTxyzphobic, sexist in the main. And it is not pre-occupied with runaway sex, unless you go to Miley’s maul me concerts. You are hurting because your candidate and her husband, the F@$%@#$%@#$%@ing president, lost. We adults understand and have PBA free pacifiers if you really need them: I BELIEVE YOU ARE MUCH BETTER THAN THIS. The secret of a good university education is learning to critically think, not follow the mob onto the fast lane to throw tantrums. Wisdom AND knowledge, truth and facts are different entities and you need both.
It’s time to do something with your life. Just not on the Hollywood 101 freeway at rush hour OUTSIDE a gasoline powered vehicle. It’s bad enough your environmental blindness just stole my single use plastic bags; let’s open our eyes to a new American day.
Mourn if you must, yet growing up is really cool.
Some causes, led to massive death, like planned parenthood or these San Bernardino killers, both domestic terrorists.
But, find a real cause you can get behind: like helping wounded veterans back from defending the world from evil ISIS, or some other need, such as tutoring inner city black teens who can’t get a $15 an hour job since they don’t exist, and needs to benefit from a UCLA student who knows math better than he. Amazing what real charity does to a person: very soon they forget even whom they voted for, so busy helping others in life here in the most blessed country on God’s green earth. Pray for your country as I will pray for you. And find those Hollywood Refugees new digs.
Len Beckman, MBA, FOMBC, Real Estate Relocator to the Stars…. and beyond.